Can I ask you a favor?

I have to be honest with you: I wasn’t coping well with quarantine. I had my good days and bad days but the sudden change, the homeschool, the cooking, the cleaning and having little to no time for myself, was all too much, too quickly.

I felt small because some people jumped right into the online bandwagon. Online classes, online meetings, WFH, learning another language, making bread, picking up a new skill, color coordinated homeschool charts that made sure their kids were properly dividing their days into the different school assignments… meanwhile, I barely had energy to do the bare minimum.

For most of the time, I would just feel like I wasn’t accomplishing anything much because I wasn’t teaching online, I wasn’t creating content for my social media pages or finally using all the extra time I was supposedly having to start a new project or pick up a new skill.

Until I realized it should’t be this hard. I am fortunate enough to have my husband’s parents within driving distance…it’s a 14h drive but still, we make it in one very long day. They live right outside a very small town and are both now just retired. They are young, active, have many acres around them and a pool! Some of our friends called us crazy but I will not be ashamed to say that we packed our stuff and came to stay with them for a week.

The point I’m trying to make here is: GET HELP! In any possible way. Since arriving here, I’m still cooking and cleaning and homeschooling (last few days before summer vacation starts). But now it’s all shared and there’s space, and more people to talk to. It’s only been a week but Clara gets attention from her grandparents and it allows me to have some time. I’ve been teaching a few classes online and I even picked up new hobby: I’m learning to play the ukulele.

I highly recommend getting help. Asking for it is the hardest part but with a little bit of practice, you get used to it. Help can come in many forms:

-Simple task sharing at home - I’ve been giving my 7 year old more chores around the house. It makes her feel helpful and it takes a bit of the load off my back. My husband has been working crazy hours but he does his share with food, dishes and laundry.

-Be a bit more lose with previous rules- Don’t feel guilty about letting your kid watch a bit of tv while you make time for yourself. I used to be very strict with screen time but my daughter is older now. I used to not let her get her nails painted but if that means she’ll leave me alone for a while, it’s ok;

-Having a neighbor invite you over for a drink or a meal - You can still keep a social distance while getting your mind off of things (it’s a bonus if you don’t have to cook);

-A simple phone call so you can vent with a friend - Sometimes just getting things off your chest is a big help.

The favor I have to ask you is: make sure you are not shying from getting much needed help. And offer help even when people don’t ask. What goes around, comes around!

Namaste

P.s. This blog post was written a couple of weeks ago and it did not turn out as great as I wanted but I'm posting it anyway because it's what this blog is about: writing so I can get better at it. Thanks for staying with me in this journey.